Sunday, June 23, 2013

"Did you get worried that you would meet somebody else that you liked more than your husband?"

Moving to a new place has given me many opportunities to meet new people.  In meeting new neighbors/coworkers we ask each other questions and exchange information about ourselves, which you would expect.

I have found that people are usually shocked to find out that I have kids and even more shocked to find out that I have been married for (almost) 5 years.  I guess that seems like a long time for somebody who is only 25 years old to be married. 

Commonly I am asked a question which is some variation of, "Were you nervous about getting married so young?"  My co-worker clarified that when people ask this they were really wanting to know, "Were you nervous that you might meet somebody later that you like more?"

Those are totally understandable questions.  My freshman year of college I met this great, young couple.  They were smart and fun.  They were 19 or 20 and had been married for about a year and I could not believe how surprisingly...happy and mature they were about it.  They didn't have kids or anything.  They just knew they wanted to be married.  I wondered if they were naive.  I think I even asked, "Before you got married did you worry that you would meet somebody else later that you like more?"  (Clearly, I have always had excellent manners.)

They were really nice about it and kind of laughed, the same way I laugh when people ask now.  The husband explained to me that they took marriage very seriously.  He was not worried that he would meet somebody he liked better because he knew that he would never put himself in a position emotionally or otherwise, to fall for somebody else.  He told me that every day he recommitted himself to his wife and to their marriage.  I thought that what he said was so incredible, but most of it went over my head.

When I'm asked that question now, I remember that couple and I understand what they were saying.

I cannot tell you how lucky I feel to have my husband and how grateful I am everyday to wake up married to him.  I honestly haven't looked back since getting married.  I understand people wondering because we were pretty young and still had a lot of opportunities ahead of us to meet a variety of people.  Honestly, Chris finds ways every day to reaffirm that I made the absolute right choice in marrying him.  When I see the gentleness in which he helps me raise our daughters, when I see him teach our daughters about the Savior, when he eats my bad cooking and smiles, when he comes home from working all day and asks how he can help me, when he jokes and teases and winks at me from across the dinner table, I know that I could not possibly ever find somebody more meant for me.  

I remember feeling this so intensely after I had Peyton.  I felt crappy and I was surprised that I still looked pregnant (I didn't get how that worked) and Peyton was having medical problems which made me feel like a faulty delivery system.  Before I even said any of this to Chris, he expressed to me how proud he was of me and how grateful he was for all of the hard work that I put in to giving birth to our daughter.  He looked at me in my swollen state and told me how much he loved me and how beautiful I was to him.  He told me all of the things that I had already done to be a great mother to Peyton.  No other person on the planet could have said all of the right things at that time. 

Chris is exactly what I need.  All of the time.  He is the filter to my ego and the boost to my self-esteem.  He is my motivator and he is the person who can calm me down.  He is my level head and he is the one who reminds me of what is important when I get too overwhelmed and forget.  He is an amazing example of patience.  I am definitely a better person with him than I would be without him.

So for any of you who were ever concerned about me getting married young and for any of you who have ever wondered: I am very happy with the man I married and I am grateful for the timing of our marriage.  I would not change one bit of it.  It is a wonderful life I lead :)


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