Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Picture Fun With Peyton

Church attendance is not something I struggle with. Being able to get much from church in between Peyton's chaotic rants is something I do struggle with. For a while we could manage to keep her somewhat contained with a steady stream of snacks for her to munch on. Those days are over, mostly because "steady stream" somehow evolved into half a candy aisle and a box of goldfish crackers. We rely mostly on books now. They are effective about 25% of the time. I didn't want her reading just any books at church. I wanted her to think about our Savior so I bought several small pictures of Jesus from Deseret Book and put them into a little picture album. During church Peyton will (sometimes) quietly flip through the book and tell me about the pictures. It usually sounds something like, "Look! Jesus! Sheep! Boat!"
Well, sometimes there are other people in the pictures with Jesus. Peyton especially likes these. This is what happened last Sunday.
When she saw this beautiful painting by Greg Olsen she said pointing to Christ, "Look! Jesus!" Then pointed to the child and said, "And Popeye!" She honestly believes that is her with Jesus and you cannot convince her otherwise.
We flipped through more pages and came upon this picture by the brilliant Simon Dewey.
When she saw it she got so excited. She pointed to the Savior and said, "There's Jesus!" She then pointed to the baby, equally excited, and said, "It's Juju!" Again, you cannot tell her otherwise.
We flip through more pages and we come across another one by Greg Olsen (we love him)
Can you guess who she thought was with Jesus in this picture? Yep! She thought it was her mom. I have tried and tried to tell her it isn't me but she looks at me like I'm nuts and insists that it is.
After a few minutes of looking and talking about pictures of Christ, Peyton was ready to switch to another book. I began to listen to the speaker as Peyton quietly flipped through her new book. Before too long she exclaimed, "Mom! There's Daddy!" I looked to find her pointing to this picture...
It is from The Blue Day Book by Bradley Trevor Greive. I absolutely lost it. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Peyton had a sneaky grin which made it even funnier. Oh man. I love that girl.

Monday, January 30, 2012

The Reason Peyton Will Be In Bed By 7:30 Tonight

Mondays are laundry day. They are the only day of the week we have to wash all of the blankets, towels, rags, clothes, and anything else that may have been soiled throughout the week. Today I even had to wash laundry from our vacation that was already clean because the doctor said it was necessary to avoid worsening Juju's rash (allergic reaction to something that broke her out and caused blistery things to pop up all over her poor body). This means that today I had 8. Loads. Of. Laundry. Blah. I didn't even bother getting dressed. I am wearing a pajama shirt and basketball shorts because I do not want to have to wash one more thing.

Anyway, our laundry room is located in the back of the apartment. To get there, I either have to walk around the building outside or go through apartment 1's hallway. I chose option 2 since I was in shorts and it was cold. Plus, none of those boys were home. Well, Peyton tried to follow me and I told her to stay in our apartment.

Did she listen? No. What did she do instead? She locked me out of our apartment. I banged on the back door and threatened and bribed but she wouldn't open the door. After a while I could tell she was long gone. I walked (with no shoes, mind you) around my house. In the snow and ice. What did I find when I reached the front door? Yep! She locked that one, too. I could hear my poor Juju crying. I was panicking because when Juju is upset Peyton sometimes tries to feed her paper because she knows Juju likes to play with paper. Thankfully, I have always been around to stop this. Not this time, though.

So there I was. Freezing on the porch. Then I heard Peyton cry. It wasn't the pouty cry, either. It was the "I'm hurt" cry. AGH! What's a mother to do!? Well, I was finally able to break into my house. On my way to save Peyton from her own shinanigan I found Loralie. Chewing up my husband's W2's. Ugh. They are ripped apart and soggy. Great. But, thankfully Juju was happy and not choking.

Then I saw Peyton running down the hallway screaming "Popeye's eyes! Popeye's eyes! OWWWW! Popeye's eyes!" If I were not so worried I would have gotten a picture because she was quite a sight. The front of her hair was foamy and completely slicked back and the rest of her hair was sticking straight out. She had managed to open the liquid hand soap by the bathroom and dump it all out on her head. She got it in her eyes and it was quite an ordeal for her. When I tried to flush it out she screamed, "You're hurting Popeye! Oww! No, please, Mom! Popeye is sorry!"

Sometimes I don't know what to do with that kid. Sigh. Things are much calmer now. At 6:30pm our last load of laundry is now in the washing machine and Peyton and Juju are laughing and tickling each other. I love those two.

Oh! Want to know something unrelated to laundry that makes me chuckle? Peyton can't play peek-a-boo with Juju because Juju cries. It terrifies the poor girl. Every time Peyton reappears Juju looks stunned and loses it. I don't know why because she doesn't mind when Chris and I do it. I guess they'll just have to stick to tickle games.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Guide to Understanding Peyton

Peyton was recently talking to somebody and they asked me to translate. She says so many things but she says them in her cute 2-year-old way.

Eye Beethee! = I'm Busy
Mowka Mowk = Chocolate milk
Mock un sheesh = Mac and cheese
Beebee Peekos = Baby pickles = greenbeans
Pee Peez = Pretty please
See Po = Seatbelt
Buckleshouts = Brusselsprouts This one actually has many versions
Shub Ob = Sponge Bob (I loathe the awful sponge)
Bacootie! = Monster
Mine! = Aunt Emily
Bugga Bet = Big girl bed
Seex Nine Seex Seex! = One, two, three, GO!

I'm Busy!

Peyton stacked pillows and blankets in front of a stand then proceeded to jump from the stand into the pillows. When I asked her no please stop, she replied, "I can't, Mom! I'm beethee!"

Things I Say More Often Than I Would Like...

Peyton, we drink from a cup, NOT from the bathtub!
Peyton, we sit on a chair, NOT on our sister!
AGH! Peyton! We don't throw our poo in the trash can!
What is stuck in your hair?
Peyton, why is there an empty pepperoni bag/wrapper from half a pound of cheese/chocolate syrup bottle/empty gogurt box in your room?
Please don't jump off of that! It is so dangerous! (As an alternative to jumping off of high things that scare me to death, she is allowed to jump on her bed...and sometimes my bed after her bath)
Juju drinks milk, Peyton. Please don't feed her paper.
You are right, Peyton. Pulling all of the leaves off of Mom's plant was not a good decision. (We discuss this monthly...right after the leaves grow back. Sigh.)
Peyton Jane! Please don't lock me out of your room!