Thursday, November 29, 2012

Peyton Story Palooza

Peyton was holding something and wanted to put it in her pocket...except she didn't have a pocket.
Peyton: I not have a pocket.  I put it down my pants, okay?
Seriously.  She thinks that putting things down her pants is acceptable and she does it all the time.  Ha.  Reminds me of when she was about 18 months old.  We had dinner at 5:00ish and when I went to change her around 8ish and put her to bed I found out that she was hiding half of her grilled cheese sandwich in her onesie.

Loralie hit Peyton.  Peyton was very mature about it.  "Juj, we don't hit kids.  Can you tell me you're sorry?"


Chris: Peyton, you may not play with your friends until you eat all of your dinner.
Peyton: (Innocently, with puppy dog eyes) But Dad, you got to be keeding me.


Peyton sat straight up with big eyes and announced, "I have to pee!!!"  As she sprinted down the hallway, Loralie stood and pointed to the bathroom shouting, "Go!  Go!  Go!  Go!" I predict Loralie will make a great coach someday.  


Lately whenever Peyton goes to the bathroom, she sprints and as soon as she sits down to pee she says, "Whew!  That was a close one!"  Then Loralie claps for her.


Loralie dumped a box of crayons all over the floor.  As Peyton picked them up she shouted, "Do you see this, Santa!?  Are you watching me choose the right!?"  About a minute later Loralie tried to dump the crayons out again and Peyton hit her.  Then, Peyton looked at me with big, panicked eyes and said, "Umm...Santa not see that.  Okay?"


Peyton: Juj, you ripped this.  I'm never going to be so happy again...


On Thanksgiving Peyton asked, "Mom, is today happy birthday or happy Thanksgiving?  I am not remembering..."


Monday, November 26, 2012

Be nice when your friends tell you what they are naming their babies.

I currently have several pregnant friends.  Bringing life into the world is exciting.  People should be excited for them.  Are people always excited for them?  No.

Sometimes they are downright rude.  Especially when it comes to baby names.

I had a friend who did not tell people what she was naming her baby until after her baby was born.  Why?  Because she new that people were going to go out of their way to make her feel crappy about it.  I didn't really understand why she felt the need to keep it to herself.  I do now.  I got grief when I told people that my daughter's name would be Peyton.  Don't even get me started on choosing to name our second baby Loralie.  Do rude comments make me like the name I've picked any less?  No.  They do make me like the rude person less, though.

Right now I want to just take a minute to talk about baby name etiquette.  Here are a few rules that shouldn't need to be explained but....

1.) If you ask somebody what they are going to name their baby and they tell you the name they have selected, it is not polite to suggest better baby names or make weird faces or to say rude things*.

2.) Only give name suggestions if you are asked for name suggestions.

3.) After being told the baby's name it is rude to tell the expectant parents that you had a pet with that name.

4.) Rudest comment I have ever heard: "I went to school with a kid named (insert name).  They are in jail now.  I guess (insert name) was this huge pedophile and got arrested for molesting kids."  Yeah.  Don't say that.

5.) When somebody tells you that they are naming their baby a name that you hate, appropriate responses are "I love that!"  "How original!"  Or nothing.  That's right.  Don't make a comment.  BUT this is not permission to silently roll your eyes.

6.) If the expectant parents are set on a name, do not proceed to tell them all of the ways that mean kids will make fun of them for it.

7.)  The only person who should complain about a child's name is the child.  When they are old enough...after they do an assignment in school and discover their name means "short-nosed man."  Thanks, Mom ;)

That is all I can think of.  Can you think of anymore?

And to all of my pregnant friends enduring grief over what they are naming their baby, hang in there!  For the record, I think it is a great name!

* Rude comments include any variation of "ew " and "well, if you want to ruin your kid's life..." 

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Not-Quite-Successful Family Home Evening

On Sunday nights we have Family Home Evening.  It is the only night of the week where we are all together and awake.  During this time, we sing songs, learn a spiritual lesson, do an activity, and eat unhealthy treats.  It is basically awesome.

Tonight, FHE was held half an hour after a fairly disastrous dinner.  Peyton cried at the table then screamed, then ran away and hid in the bathroom because she could not bring herself to even try the scalloped potatoes.  She wanted cereal and ice cream, NOT potatoes.  I will save you from all of the details, just know that things did not end well.

We waited to start FHE until things were much more calm. Chris began the lesson.  The topic:  Choosing the Right.   Here are some excerpts:

Chris: Peyton, what does it mean to choose the right?
Peyton: Always eat your potatoes and not cry!  And your rolls!  Eat potatoes and rolls!


Chris: Why do we choose the right?
Peyton: To get ice cream!
Chris:  Well....sort of.  When you choose the right at dinner time you sometimes get ice cream.  Is that the only reason we choose the right, though?
Peyton: YES!  Ice cream makes me happy.


Chris: Peyton, can you think of a time when you chose the right?
Peyton: Yes.  On my birthday.  When I was 16.


Chris: Peyton, do you know how we can choose the right?
Peyton: Yes.
Chris: .............By listening to the Holy Ghost, right?

Peyton: Yes.  
Chris: So how can we choose the right?
Peyton: .....
Chris: By
Peyton: By listening to church!
Chris:  Close.  By listening to the Holy Ghost.  So how can we choose the right?

Peyton:  .....

Chris: By listening....
Peyton: By listening to church!

Chris: (Sigh) Yes.  Good job.


As you can tell, the lesson went  very well.  After our lesson was the activity, which was basically writing letters to Santa. Peyton's requests: For Santa to sit by her at church and tell us that she is good, sixteen dollars for her bank, and a big letter "T."   ...Yeah.

In closing, you might also be interested in knowing that Loralie is currently throwing a fit and Peyton is singing, "You better watch out!  You better not cry!  Santa will see and you get no toys if you not choose the right!"  Clearly she took it upon herself to change the lyrics.

Here's to hoping FHE turns out a little better next week.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

A few things that make me the luckiest mom ever

I want to set the record straight.  My children are a delight.  Really.  I love them and I want lots more.

I sometimes worry that because of posts like this and this some people are under the mistaken impression that my children are heathens (mostly Peyton).  Because I don't want you to have the wrong idea, here are a few things that my girlies do that make them incredible.

At least once a day, Peyton brings me a blanket and asks if we can snuggle.  Every day.  I drop everything I am doing and sit on the couch with her, Loralie, and our blanket and we watch cartoons.  When I need to get up and fix a meal or get ready for work or clean something that can no longer be put off, Peyton thanks me for snuggling and asks me if I need help.

Peyton and Loralie are the most forgiving kids ever. If we experience a misunderstanding that is totally my fault, they are so quick to get over it and give me a hug.  Example: Last night I put the girls to bed and Peyton got up about a thousand times.  The last time she got up I completely went off on her.  I am very embarrassed to say that I raised my voice and stomped toward her. (Bad parenting.  I know, okay?  I really don't act like that usually which is why I think she reacted this way.)  Her lip started to quiver and before exploding into tender sobs she held up a cup and explained that she was trying to get a drink for Loralie because she was really thirsty.  Broke my heart.  I knelt down and hugged my baby that was crying because I was a jerk when she was just trying to help.  I apologized and she pat me on the back and said through tears, "It's okay. I always love you.  We have to be best friends, okay? I just help you."  We got Loralie her water and as I tucked Peyton back into  bed she told me that I was the best mom.  I know.  I was so undeserving and it is like she didn't even notice.

I rarely feel unappreciated because Peyton and Loralie follow me around and express joy and excitement at every unremarkable thing I do.  Peyton will say, "Wow, Mom!  Nice sweeping!" and Loralie will followup by smiling and clapping her hands. And when I peel potatoes Loralie bounces up and down smiling and Peyton tells me, "Whoa! You are so fast!"

When Loralie thinks somebody is sad she pats them on the head, rubs their cheek with her sticky hand and gives them 50 kisses. Melts my heart every time.

Peyton regularly tells me that I am beautiful like a princess.  She really believes it, too.  Even when I am in my pajamas and haven't done my hair.

Loralie and Peyton are so compassionate.  At the grocery store we passed a mother who had a crying toddler in her cart.  Loralie leaned over to try to pat him and Peyton said, "It's okay, boy.  Can I hug you?"  Thinking that his mother was the cause of his crying, Peyton kindly said to her, "He is so sad.  Choose the right, okay?"  We left the store twenty minutes later at the same time as this mother and child and Peyton exclaimed, "He is so happy now!" Loralie clapped and bounced up and down.  I love how they genuinely care about everybody.

Honestly, I could write all day about every perfect thing that my girls do, but it wouldn't even begin to scratch the surface of their wonderfulness.  You will just have to believe me when I tell you that they are the bomb-diggity.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Peyton Picture

I love the surprises that I get from Peyton during or immediately following nap time.

A few days ago she woke up and came into the office/junk room while I was doing homework.  She said, "Look, Mom" in a sleepy voice.  I turned around and saw this...

Photo: Who is that?

Basically, she is the coolest, best dressed kid that ever lived.

Please ignore the old baby stuff randomly falling out of boxes.  I told you.  Our office doubles as a place to hide random things that we no longer use but I can't handle parting with.  To be fair, Chris cleans it twice a week.  The girls just love pulling their old stuff out of boxes as I attempt to do homework.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Peyton Questions

Peyton is a very curious girl.  Here are a few of the questions she had for me today...

Why do some bugs die in the window and some bugs die on my shoe?

Why do I have to wear pants every day?

Is it okay if I drink my bath if I only do it a really, really little?

Can Grandpa Peaches get my binks from Santa?

How do you say “uno, dos, tres” in Spanish?

Those were her exact words.

Friday, November 2, 2012

I really want to take a shower.

I have been looking forward to nap time today since the second the girls woke up this morning.  I usually don't do that, but I really wanted to take a shower.

Last night I cleaned my house.  Well, my kitchen and bedroom. It took me hours.  I mopped my kitchen floor 3 times.  I organized my shelves, shined my sink, did laundry, put mountains of clothes away, dusted, put away everything that seems to pile up on our dresser and night stands.... I did a lot.  At 11:00 p.m. my house looked so good.  And I was sooooo tired.  You know how you usually feel dirty after cleaning and feel like you need a shower (is it just me)? Well, I wanted to shower last night.  I meant to.  I sat down for a second to talk to Chris because he had just gotten home.  That is the last thing I remember.  I totally fell asleep.  I woke up very aware that I still needed a shower.

Then the girls woke up.

I could have put a movie in for them a showered quickly, but that is too dangerous.  I mean, I just cleaned my house.  Nobody has been able to see it yet (seriously, come look at what I did).  I didn't want it to look messy before I had the chance to prove to somebody that I actually know how to clean our apartment.

So anyway, Loralie was getting tired.  I had just been able to bribe Peyton to take a nap by offering her some pre-nap cereal.  This was the moment I had been waiting for.  I put Loralie in her crib sent her to her room.  Then I quickly grabbed my towels.  The anticipation of being as clean as my kitchen was almost overwhelming.  I grabbed my soaps and shampoos (I have to hide them from the kids) and turned on the water.  Then I heard Juju making angry grunting sounds.  I peeked in their room and Peyton was laying down in Loralie's crib.  Loralie was trying to push her out of the crib (like that could ever happen).  Peyton was resting calmly and said very nonchalantly, "Juj, Mom says that sisters share.  You have to let me stay."

I laughed and ignored the girls squabbling and hopped in the shower.  After a blissful minute into my shower there was an absence of noise.  I thought, "Hmm...they are actually going to nap.  Awesome!"

Then I heard Peyton's feet pitter patter down the hall and into the bathroom.
Peyton: Mom?
Me:  MmmHmm?
Peyton: I can't take a nap.
Me: Why not?
Peyton: It's not dark outside.
Me: Try your hardest.
Peyton: (sigh) Okay.

More pitter pattering.

Ahh...alone.  Showering.

More pitter pattering.

Peyton: Mom?
Me: (Impatiently) Yes?
Peyton: Whatcha doing?
Me: Washing my body.
Peyton: Oh.

More pitter pattering.

Warm water does more than clean the body.  I am convinced long, warm showers cleanse the soul.  I began to ponder something calming and important as I relaxed, basking in the gloriousness of my shower.

Then I was interrupted.  By more freaking pitter pattering.

Peyton: Mom?
Me: What, Peyton?
Peyton: You still washing your body?
Me: Yes.
Peyton: You wash this, too. (Not in a vindictive way, but in a voice that suggested she wanted to be helpful)

Then I saw her little hand reach behind the shower curtain and deposit the the girls' dishes, one by one, into my shower.

Streams of milky Cheerios began to race toward the drain.  Sigh.  I had just washed my feet.  They felt clean.

Not anymore.

I just wanted an uninterrupted shower.