My kids made me crazy yesterday, but I still think they are awesome. I should quit my job and grad school so we can have more fun times and less times that require disinfecting cleanser.

I am a busy lady.  I try to only do homework after the kids go to bed, but sometimes I have to finish an assignment before bedtime.  Yesterday was one of those times.  I was on my bed with my laptop and Loralie was hanging out with me, keeping me company because she loves me.....and because Peyton locked her out of their room.  I was nearly done with my assignment and Loralie started rubbing my back.  She was so sweet....until I realized that she was rubbing my back with the dang dry erase marker.  All over my brand new shirt!  I had just taken the tags off!

I went in the bathroom and tried to get the dang marker off.  I shut the door to keep Juj out.  She had done enough damage.  When I opened the door and walked back to my room, I found Loralie there, stark naked. She had pooped and taken her diaper off.  I caught her scooting her butt across my carpet.  Like a dog.  She was wiping her poopy butt on the carpet of my bedroom, which I had JUST cleaned.  Then, she stood in triumph with her hands in the air and said, "I DEED EET!"

Ugh.

I cleaned her up.  Then I cleaned the floor.  My room, which had just been cleaned, now smells like poop.

Later, I was making dinner.  Before I go on, I should tell you that Peyton has gotten into a lot of trouble in the bathroom.  To me, Peyton's bathroom is a disgusting, germ-filled place which I try to avoid, except for when I'm cleaning it.  To Peyton, it is the greatest place on earth, with an adventure tucked in every corner.  For example, She once ripped up an entire roll of toilet paper and put it in the toilet.  After if was a soggy, cloggy mess, she took handfuls of the stuff out and made snow balls out of them.  And threw them.  In the bathroom.

See what I'm saying?

Anyway, because of these kinds of episodes, Peyton lost bathroom door privileges.  She's not allowed to shut the bathroom door anymore.  She does her business with it open.

She has been pretty responsible lately (for a 3-year-old), so I thought I would give Peyton another shot with the closed door thing.  Until yesterday she had done pretty well (with the exception of a cleaning mishap, which I will not go into).

As I was fixing dinner last night, I thought to myself, "Hmm, Peyton has been in there a long time."  When I went into the bathroom, not only was I greeted by a cloud of baby powder thick enough to induce breathing problems, but Peyton was shirtless.  And she was dunking her shirt in the toilet.  Which she had just used and not flushed.  Before I could say anything Peyton said, "But Mom, I just trying to choose the right."

So I cleaned that nasty mess up and threw Peyton in the tub.  I ran her shirt to the washing machine to find that Loralie had pulled a chair over to the coat closet, climbed on it, and pulled down a massive box of beads.  There were beads everywhere.  Hundreds of them.  When she was caught she gave me puppy dog eyes and said, "Bath?"

I am confident that today will be much better :)

This is a post about Juj.

When Loralie was first born she was the complete opposite of Peyton.  The pregnancies were different.  The deliveries were different.  Peyton was this tiny little thing who was very alert and fussed unless she was being held.  Loralie was a great big baby who slept a lot and didn't mind being put down.  Peyton was either excited or irritated.  Loralie was just mellow.  Peyton wanted a bink and a bottle.  Loralie wanted no binks or bottles.  She wanted to nurse.  A lot. 

Anyway, the differences were incredible to me.  I thought they would stay that way.  As Loralie got a little older, I knew that would not be the case.  I knew that the two girls had very similar spirits.  My first indication was when Loralie was 14 months old.  I turned from the kitchen into the hallway to see Loralie coming out of the bathroom brushing her hair.  With the toilet wand.  Peyton did this exact thing at 15 months old (I checked my journal to see when it was exactly).  I still feel grossed out thinking about it.

The older Loralie gets, the more I chuckle at her rat fink streak.  I'm sure it will drive me crazy later (and it sort of does now, occasionally) but I love watching Loralie bother Peyton the way little sisters do.

Loralie is easily bored on car rides.  Frequently, to pass time she will annoy Peyton.  Usually it starts with Peyton looking out the window and Loralie looking around, realizing that she is going to be in the car seat for a while.  Loralie then looks at Peyton and calmly says, "No."  Peyton will look at her, confused, and say, "Umm...yes, Juj."  Then Loralie will shrug and cooly say, "No."  

Peyton: Don't say "no" to me, Juj.

Loralie: (A little more forcefully, but not with a ton of emotion) No!

Peyton: Juj!  Stop! Don't say "no" to me!

Loralie: NO! (Pointing finger)

Peyton: YES!

Loralie: NO!

Peyton: YES!

Loralie: NO!

This goes on for about two minutes.   Peyton starts to scream and Loralie starts to smile.  Peyton starts to cry and Loralie starts to openly giggle.  All the while the "no" "yes" fight rages  on.  Then the conversation transitions.

Peyton: Mom!  Juj keeps saying "no" to me!  She won't stop!

Me: Hmm...Did you ask her nicely?

Peyton: (Through tears) Juj, will you please stop?

Juj: ......No! (Big smile)

By this time Peyton is trying to hit Loralie, while Loralie continues laughing, knowing that Peyton cannot reach because they are both strapped in car seats.  I'm getting a little crazy trying to drive with the fits.  

Me: Juj, will you please choose the right and be nice to Peyton?

Loralie: Okay.

Me:  Will you apologize?

Loralie: Sorry, Popeye.

Peyton: (through sobs, with snot streaming down her face): It's okay, Juj.  I love you.

Loralie: I love you, Popeye.

Loralie is very content with this scene every single time we are in the car longer than 5 minutes.  Such an instigator.   I have tried and tried to explain to Peyton that Loralie is just trying to drive her crazy but she gets sucked into it every time.

I remember being young and fighting with my siblings over nothing and getting really upset about it.   It is so weird to see my kids do it now (at a much younger age).  We have a very long drive ahead of us tomorrow. I'm sure this will be less funny to me by the end of it.

Boogers, Racket, Art, and Prayers

Peyton: Mom, may I please play with the iPad?
Me: No, but thank you for asking nicely.
Peyton: Mom, is it because of my boogers?  Because they stopped falling out!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Last night the girls were both in their room.  It was late and they should have been sleeping but Loralie was fussing.  After a few minutes of hearing her fuss, I heard Peyton open the door.  I peered down the hallway and saw her leading Loralie by the hand to my room.
Me: Peyton, what do you think you are doing?
Peyton: Oh, there you are.  Loralie wants to sleep in your bed.
Me: I know, but she can't.  It is important that she sleeps in her own bed.
Peyton: But Mom, she really wants to.  And I don't like her crying.  It's racket.

Then she put Loralie's hand in my hand, walked back to her room, and shut the door.  She is a girl who knows how to get things done.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A friend brought some of his art over to my apartment.  Peyton was looking at one of the sculptures of a man's head (statues?  Not sure the official artsy name of the art, but it was impressive) and said in awe, "Mom, I think this one has a mandible!  It is so beautiful!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Peyton likes Cheerios.  She also likes to sprinkle a little pinch of sugar on them.  I prepared her bowl of cereal, like I always do, and she requested sprinkles, like she always does.  I told her that we needed to bless the food first because Loralie was waiting pretty patiently with folded arms.  Peyton said, "Okay, I'll say it."
Her prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank Thee for this day and so many blessings.  Please bless my mom to be soooo helpful and give me sprinkles.  Thanks for Juj.  Help Uncle Mitch to choose the right and not get me in trouble all the time.  I just wanted to play with the iPad.  And make mom give me sprinkles.  Help Dad to be helpful in his job.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

After her prayer, I gave her a pinch of sugar to sprinkle on her cereal and she shouted, "IT WORKED!"

Muscles, Mangoes, Beards, Boyfriends, and Faith.

Peyton and Loralie thought it would be a great idea to dump powdered sugar all over my floor.  I thought it would be a great idea for them to clean it up.  After if was sort of cleaned I asked Peyton to put the vacuum cleaner away.  She tried and struggled and said, "Mom, it's not working!  I'm not strong muscles.  Like Tarzan.  I'm just me, Peyton!  I'm a kid."

I helped her and she later requested a salad so that her muscles would get big.  That isn't exactly how it works, but I didn't tell her.  Why ruin a good thing?

*****

Me: Girls, it is time to go to bed.
Loralie: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Peyton: Mom, I can't just lie there like a mango!

*****

Peyton: Where is daddy?
Me: He had to go away to work, remember?
Peyton: Because you need to grow a beard?

*****

I had a class on Saturday and a sweet friend of mine offered to watch the girls.  She has a son around Peyton's age and a daughter around Loralie's age.  Peyton was a little nervous about meeting new friends so I got on Facebook and showed her their pictures.  She saw the boy and said in a voice that was almost flirty, "Hmm...I'm gonna hold his hand!"

*****

Me: Peyton, will you please pick up your mess?

Peyton: But I can't!  It is too, too hard!

Me:  You can do it, Peyt!  I have faith in you!

Peyton: Faith in me?

Me: Yes!

Peyton: No.  We have faith in Jesus.

Peyton's First Lie(s)

I was going through a bunch of posts that I wrote and never published.  This is from October and it is about Peyton telling a fib.

It was about peanut butter.

I was doing homework on the computer and Peyton came in and sat on my lap. Both of us were facing the computer but before she looked at the computer I caught a glimpse of her mouth...which had peanut butter all over it.

I asked, "Peyton, what is on your mouth." Quickly looking away from me she wiped her filthy mouth off on her brand new shirt that she had JUST put on.

Me: Peyton, what is on your mouth?
Peyton:....nothing.

Me: Peyton, look at me.
Peyton:(Puts her hand over her mouth and turns her head toward me)

Me: Peyton, you wiped your mouth off on your shirt so you wouldn't get in trouble!

Peyton: No I not (hand still over her mouth)

Me:(Points to peanut butter smudge on Peyton's shirt) Then what is that?Peyton:......ketchup?

Me: Peyton, did you get into the peanut butter?

Peyton: (Hand still over mouth) No. I get in the ketchup. On accident.

She wouldn't have gotten into trouble if she had told the truth. I just would have laughed at her. But she came up with this preschool version of an elaborate lie!

We had a big talk about telling the truth and choosing the right.  I was still entertained by the whole thing so it wasn't a big lecture, or anything.  A lesson did need to be learned, though.  She had to go to her room until she could tell the truth. A few minutes later she came out. 

Peyton: I'm ready to tell the truth.

Me: Good.  Come sit on my lap.

Peyton: (Climbs on my lap and nervously looks me in the eye) My dad made me eat ketchup. Not peanut butter.

Me: Did you eat the peanut butter, Peyton?

Peyton: No way, Jose. It is bad.

Her breath smelled strongly of peanut butter and I found a jar of peanut butter in her room WITH a dirty spoon. When confronted with the evidence, she still denied it!  I invited her to stay in her room until she wanted to tell the whole story.

She went back to her room. She emerged several minutes later with a very serious look on her face and said, "Mom, I tell the truth now. Juju got peanut butter. I said NO! But she still eated it so I HAD to!"

Not sure what that meant. I knew the part about Loralie was a total lie but she did manage to kind of say that she ate it. I decided to take what I could get.

Probably not stellar parenting, but we have not had a problem since.