Lately my Facebook news feed has been inundated with talk of 50 Shades of Grey (I have a super power that allows me to completely ignore any of the political/election posts that may be flooding your screens. What can I say? God has given me a gift).
I am sure that you have all read/heard opinions about this particular piece of literature so I will try not to get into that so much. What I do want to discuss is the disturbing trend that seems to go hand in hand with talk of this book; the phrase "mommy porn."
The term has bothered me for quite a while. Does it seem oxymoronic to anyone else?
A mother is somebody who sacrifices. She uplifts those around her. She beautifies her home. She gives up hours of sleep to care for sick children. She gives of her time to help her children with homework. She gives her lap to her children to fall asleep on. She gives the last bite of her favorite candy bar to her child who is looking at her with longing, hopeful eyes (that's the hardest). She gives of herself all day. A mother is a giver.
Pornography is the exact opposite. It gives nothing. Really, it takes an awful lot. It takes time away from our family. It takes our love for our spouse. It takes away the purity with which we should see others. It takes away our focus on important matters worthy of our pursuit.
As I type this I realize that maybe I am wrong. Pornography does give something. It can give you an addiction. It can give you unrealistic expectations of your spouse. It can give you people outside of your marriage to lust after. It can replace your love of others with the ability to simply view them as objects. It takes away a desire to do for others and replaces it with more selfish desires. It takes your joy and exchanges it for fleeting moments of satisfaction. Pornography, visual or written, takes things from you, important things, and offers nothing of value.
When I see people flippantly use the term "mommy porn," my heart breaks. I sincerely believe that motherhood is a sacred calling. "Mommy" is something that my tenderhearted children call me. I hate seeing it coupled with something that I have personally seen destroy families.
Mothers, God blessed you with children. He entrusted you with his own children and gave you the necessary tools to raise them to be the valiant souls that He needs. Take this seriously. It's hard. Nobody is perfect. I certainly make dozens of mistakes a day. Motherhood is hard enough without pouring time and energy into unworthy and draining pursuits like pornography. If you still have a burning desire to read your erotic novels, please at least don't degrade the sacred name of motherhood on my Facebook news feed by proclaiming your love of "mommy porn."
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7 comments:
Oh my goodness, Courtney Michelle. I am so very proud of you. This is an amazingly thought-provoking post. I have my own strong feelings about the "Grey" books, but I have never really thought of it in the terms you mentioned. Well, maybe I haven't seen the terms 'mommy' and 'porn' in the same sentence. You are an incredible example to all around you! Goooo Courtney!
This is a perfect post. I have also been hearing about the grey book and I honestly cannot believe it's so socially accepted. I am horrified that our society has gotten to the point where women, mothers, are openly admitting that they are reading and loving a book that is nothing short of pornography. It's disgusting and terrifying. I am ashamed of my gender. Thanks for the post, you really put the situation in the right light.
I don't know much about 50 Shades of Grey. I do know that pornography is so prevalent in our society that many people don't even know they are viewing it. Take the movie Pretty Woman for example. People get so caught up in the love story that the idea of prostitution as a profession is overlooked. Dirty Dancing is another example. We see movies that touch our hearts and justify watching them by telling ourselves we would never do what the characters in the movies do. But once we see it, it's in our heads forever. It's the same with language. How many times do we see OMG or hear something like Gosh Dangit. We substitute the word gosh for God in certain phrases, but we all know what is meant. Thank you, Cory, for holding us responsible for our actions. You are truly an inspiration.
I know! There is definitely a double standard here, I think. If a man would post something about how he is going to look at porn, people would think he is gross. If a woman does it people chuckle and congratulate her on embracing womanhood. Seriously? I hate it.
I don't know how inspiring I am...I mean, I seldom pass up an opportunity to watch Dirty Dancing. A work in progress, I guess:)
WOW!!!! Perfectly written! I'm going to steal it and repost it on my blog (I'll give you credit!) Okay, and I do need to ask permission. Seriously, amazing post!
Friend of Melissa popping in. I was caught at the two words "Mommy" and "Porn" in one sentence. I know nothing about the Shades of Grey book, but I think now I could care less. Thank you for sharing. It's so hard to draw those lines, but I believe when we do, we are SO much happier! And, I love your blog title "Mean Mom". I feel like that ALL the time, but know what? Our kiddos will totally appreciate it some day! :) Good job!
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