A Thursday Play-by-Play

So, Occasionally I have meltdowns.  You know, after crappy or stressful days.  (For some reason, my sister-in-law always sees or calls me on these days.  Kim, I swear, I am not always emotionally unstable.  Cross my heart!)

This is how my day went yesterday.

8:00 a.m. Peyton and Loralie were crying because they wanted cereal.  I got the cereal down and opened the box and dropped it, spilling Cheerios everywhere.  I cleaned it up.  No big deal.  Then I went to pour milk into the bowls.  It was lumpy.  The milk had expired.  We had 2 gallons of expired milk in our refrigerator.  How does that even happen?  We drink milk ALL the time!  Whatever.  No big deal.

8:30 a.m. Finally convince the girls that they really want oatmeal for breakfast.

9:00 a.m. Meet with my internship provider for next semester to iron out how things are going to go.  I am going to be spending a lot of time away from my girlies.  I hate it, but it is only temporary.  Not a huge deal.

10:00 a.m. Continue working on the paper that is due in a few hours that I should have done weeks ago.  I kick myself for always doing this.  Not awesome, but no big deal.

12:30 p.m. Put the girlies down for a nap.  Loralie was sooo sleepy.  Peyton kept her up the night before until almost 11 reading books and singing songs to her.  But, you know, no big deal.

1:30 p.m. Peyton comes into the office and sees that I am snacking and sticks her hand in my bag of snacks and eats.  I told her that she was supposed to be taking a nap.  She said, "Okay.  I just had to change Juju's diaper."  I laughed, thinking she was kidding.  I took another big bite of my snack and said, "Okay, Peyton.  Nice work.  Go to bed."  Then she said..........."Okay.  I have to wash the poop off my hands, first."  I froze for a second.  "Wait. Did you really change Loralie's diaper?"  I looked at her poopy hands that had been in my snack bag and I knew my answer.  I spit out the food in my mouth.  I wanted to throw up.  As I ran to the girls' room Peyton giggled and said, "Not worry.  It is under control.  I did it by myself!"  Loralie was laying in her crib.  Naked.  Wiping herself.  To Peyton's credit, Loralie's butt was very, very clean.  Everything else was not.  The room smelled terrible.  I tried not to make a big deal out of it because Peyton was so proud of herself for being helpful and she kept saying, "I did it all by myself!"  I hosed Loralie and Peyton down in the tub.  They didn't appear to have poop on them, but when everything else had that much poop on it, I just knew that they couldn't possibly be germ-free.  As I did this I made a mental note to wash my mouth out.  With bleach.  Then I wiped up the girls' room.  I couldn't find Loralie's poopy diaper anywhere.  Then I found my blanket.  Peyton had wrapped the open poopy diaper up in my blanket, along with no less than 20 poopy wipes.  I take care of that nasty mess.  Then I put the babies back to bed, and frantically get back to writing my paper.  WHY did I not do this earlier!?  I have no time!  I need to finish this and submit it before I go to work!  But...no big deal.

2:45 p.m. Get distracted from the paper for the 50th time.  This time I am distracted because I know that Chris is in an interview and I'm saying prayers for him and sending positive vibes his way.

3:00 p.m. My client calls to cancel.  Clean up my house because I cannot concentrate in such a huge mess. Messy, but no big deal.

4:00 p.m. Realize that if I get a 40% on this paper, I can still get an A in the class.  Finish and submit my paper.  It is a big piece of crap.  Who cares.  I will pass even if I turn in nothing.  No big deal.

5:00 p.m. Start dinner.  Homemade pizza.  I don't want pizza.  I want grilled chicken.  We didn't have chicken...or anything else.  We have stuff to make pizza.  Awesome.  At least we have food.  Pizza=No big deal.

5:15 p.m. Preheat oven.  No big deal.

5:30 p.m. Notice a weird smell and smoke coming from the kitchen.  Instantly remember that I left my favorite Pyrex bowl full of Puppy Chow in the oven.  This shouldn't have been a big deal.  It was, though.  It was a big deal to me. I think Chris could actually see my heart break and I tried not to cry.  He's amazing.  Instead of asking dumb questions like "How could you forget this was in here?" he said, "No sweat, Kid.  This won't take long to clean up."  Then he cleaned it up.  The plastic lid had melted all over the bowl and there was red plastic melted all over the bottom of the oven.  He didn't complain.  He did laugh.  And as he cleaned he told me how amazing I am for doing all that I do and for being a good wife and mom.  Really.  Best guy ever.  And he had the oven cleaned in time to cook the crust.  Because he is awesome like that.

6:30 p.m. Put food in the oven.  Success.  No big deal.

7:00 p.m. Wonder why the food is taking so long to cook.

7:01 p.m. Notice the over is set to 200.  I turn the oven up.  Annoying, but no big deal.

7:15 p.m. Food is done.  Chris finishes his food just in time to go to work.  No big deal.  At least he actually got food tonight.  Poor guy.

8:00 p.m. Girls will not go to bed.  Probably because they are so amped up from eating a late dinner.  No big deal.

9:30 p.m. Put girls to bed.

9:35 p.m. Peyton finds me to tell me that she changed Loralie, but "it is under control because it is just pee." I walk Peyton back to her room and Loralie is naked.  Peyton hits herself in the forehead and says, "Crap!  I forgot a new diaper!"  Then she covered her mouth and said, "We don't say 'crap!'  It's a bad word!"  I put a diaper on Loralie, but not before she managed to pee on the floor.

9:40 p.m. Clean up pee.  Wonder how Loralie got out of her crib.  Thank Peyton from her help but explain to her that the next time she wants to change Loralie, she should get me first.

9:50 p.m. Shower.

10:00 p.m. Do homework

11:00 p.m. Collapse in my bed.